What do you do when there’s no light at the end or anywhere in the tunnel?

Yesterday I noticed the overhead light in my computer room/media room/my nap and chill out place room was no longer working. It holds three ceiling fan sized bulbs and I had just replaced two of them with brand new ones I got at Home Depot about two months ago. Strange I thought that they all three bulbs would go out at the exact same time. Still I tried to do what normal people do and I went to my Home Depot leftover package that still had two new unused bulbs and screwed them in. Nothing. Nata. Now the ceiling fan is getting ample power. The fan still spins at low, medium or high speeds just fine. Then I got to thinking. Thinking of something I’d read back in 2000 when I thought people were watching me. I did lots web searches about this back then and to be honest some still here in 2015. Ceiling fans are often a favorite place monitoring devices are placed, hidden. Think I’m crazy? You’re probably right, in fact you are right but watch some episodes of Homeland season 1. Don’t all critics go on about how Homeland so perfectly mirrors modern events? Didn’t season 1 win like all the awards? Anyways when Saul orders Carrie to remove the illegal wire taps and bugs from Brody’s home her tech removes one from the ceiling fan. Now fast forward to this current season 5 of Homeland. They order a sweep of the CIA’s German offices for bugs or taps and one of the first places they start looking is yep you got it the ceiling fan.

But you ask..Who, What, Where and Why?

Well I have my theories. There is a certain element who probably see me as a bounty.

From Dictionary.com

Rogue defined:



a dishonest, knavish person; scoundrel.


a playfully mischievous person; scamp:

The youngest boys are little rogues.


a tramp or vagabond.


Put it like this, I don’t think it’s number 2 there.


Return to Me

Have you ever seen Return to Me? Bonnie Hunt directed and stars in it. So does David Duchovny. It’s one of Wendy and I favorites. It’s so innocent it could be on the Hallmark channel. You could let first graders watch it still I loved it.  I’ll always remember it because I was re-watching it on dvd one morning about 15 years ago. It was about 9am and I was alone and unaware of the world outside, We lived in an upstairs apartment then and our daughter was still a toddler though Wendy never left her with me. “What if you have another episode” She’d say. So she dropped her off at her mother’s house every morning leaving me alone for the day. I’d only been diagnosed bipolar 6 months earlier and my schizoaffective diagnosis and first bottle of antipyschotics would come a month or so after that day. Anyways the TV series that David Duchovny starred in was probably my favorite which is why I rented the movie he starred in loved it and was re-watching it  when Wendy called me from work and told me to turn the DVD off and to turn the TV on. That morning was September 11th 2001. I spent the next three days watching a real life X-file. One that still impacts so much off what we do today. Anyways I really recommend “Return to Me,” named after a Dean Martin song, if you need to return to a more innocent time.

Please taste my broth..sluurp..thank you

With so many shows like Thrones and others having season finales there just hasnt been alot of good tv lately. I am caught up on netflix series of several shows I follow till the end of the ques. Presumably next season they will add the next season to the que for Greys and Supernatural to name a few. I may get the current season from Amazon instead of waiting on Supernatural’s. I had been stockpiling my dvr but we had a cable box issue and mediacom swapped all the boxes for brand new ones about a month ago taking my recordings with them. 😦

Anyways I wanted something different than serials and scanned my hulu and nexflix libary something different. Usually when I am in this mood I want something really dark themed like The Hurt Locker, Seven or The Lovely Bones. Movies like that are sorta like doing a long line of whiskey shots after the bar has closed and its just you and the bartender left there. Fallen is another movie I like alot in that genre and as a bonus they sing and play the Stones often in it.

As I said I wanted something different I came across an independent movie made in Japan called The Ramen Girl starring Brittany Murphy who’ve I’ve been impressed with since I saw here cut up arms and body hanging from a rope in Girl Interrupted. For a movie with so many amazing performances and actresses Brittany held her own in GI. Netflix listed Ramon Girl as heartfelt comedy, fish out of water, american girl in Tokyo basically all alone after being ditched there. She couldve flown home to the US at any point of course but she seems to sad and broken to think rationally or give up like that. The movie has a mending of the broken feel to it and I very much enjoyed it. She learns to cook in a Japanese diner and later says to a guy please taste my broth. 🙂 I had to smile at that. The sound of her voice and its emotion is a big part of what she was able to do on screen. It came as no surprise that Mrs. Murphy turned out an awesome performance in what was to be one of her last. Sadly one of her last few. May she rest in peace. I hope, no I am sure she’s in a better place now.

I wish House would go streaming on netflix or hulu or amazon. Constantly keeping up with dvds sucks. Speaking of I ordered the directors cut of the original 1979 Alien which has never before seen scenes. Cool. Alien is one of the best sci fi movies of all time. Easily in the top 10.

I have started rewatching the X files but beginning with Season 7 ep1. I’ve seen them years ago but imo season 7 is when it all starting getting darker and stranger and harder to understand all of it. Still I want to believe.